Is it good fortune to have been dealt this lethal blow to a life formerly lived? Am I missing something? I try, I try to be logical about it all, I try to turn it into something that makes me want to live again, but it's just not there, it's all gone, and no matter how deeply I wrack my brains to find something worthy to come out of this, to make it worth it, the sacrifice of my life, of my joy, of my love of life, sacrifices too great to 'get over', well, no matter how deeply I try to find a good reason for any of this, I fail to find anything, there is nothing noble to this life of mine now, there is nothing to show for it, there is nothing but sadness and regret.