I have lost so much. My life has been destroyed. My freedom destroyed. These were meant to be the best years of the rest of my life. Only I can understand this pain, this anguish, it never leaves, everything reminds me of something, something when I was happy, all the thoughts I would be having in that happy moment, the leaves quivering, I heard so much, I was so in love, giddy, it was all too good to be true. Pop. The bubble burst. Senseless scenery shift. Just sadness. It doesn't seem real. It is going to the complete opposite of how I planned my life. My stomach feels sick when I think about what I have lost. Treading air in a dark room.